Q: What is the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?

A: A jeweller sells watches and a jailer watches cells.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q.Why is the tomato blushing?
A. It saw the salad dressing

Q: what day do potatos hate the most?

A: fry-day!

Q: why did the elephant paint his toe nails red?

A: so he can hide in the strawberry patch