Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet.
Showing 141 to 160 of 912
I just met the cutest little girl in the shop! The line for the cash point had gotten so long it was touching the line for santa's grotto. A girl of about 5 years old turned to me, tugged on my trouser leg and said "Exchoose me, are you waiting to see santa?"
I was taking a shower and my son who was 3 at the time turned around and saw me before I could hurry up and put the towel around me. He asked me, "Why don't you have a pee-pee like me and daddy?" So I told him that girls don't have pee-pees like boy's. So he looked at me and said,"Well I'll tell daddy to buy you one".
My daughter just walked up to me and said, "My hiccups are gone. See?" And then opened her mouth really wide.
My daughter once told me she had a magic station. It took a while to figure out that she meant imagination.
Me: Do you want breakfast?
My son: Obviously.
He's three and a half.
I had the most frustrating conversation with my daughter this morning.
Me: "Did you give that letter to Danielle?"
Her: "I can't remember"
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "I was dreaming about the letter and I can't remember what I did"
Me: "You were dreaming at school?"
Her: "No, this was in the night time"
Me: "You were supposed to give her the letter at school yesterday"
Her: "But I don't know what happened to the letter"
Me: "Well, do you still have the letter in your bag?"
Her: "No" Me: "So where is it?"
Her: "I gave it to Danielle"
At this point I have to try to resist the urge to strangle her ...
My little sister (age 4) told my son (age 2) who was crying that "Gramma will be right back after these messages" ...that's when we decided to cut down on TV time!
Today a little girl asked what my name was, to which I replied "Miss ______".
She then turned to discuss this with her friend before turning back to me and asking "Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?"
We're still in the belly button phase here. Just yesterday he pulled up his shirt and stuck a finger in it, then declared
"Don't push bellybutton, I get hiccups!"
When I laughed and asked him about it, he said "Push belly button, I get hiccups, and go poop!"
The funniest thing that my nephew said was he wanted a baby girl kitten because my sister told him he was gonna have a baby sister or brother.
My son calls freckles "sprinkles." "Mommy, I have a sprinkle right here!"
Last night, my husband made homemade pizza. It is the best. He's only gotten better over time.
Because I'm on the WW diet, I can only stare and drool. I stare for roughly five minutes with that delishiousness whafting up my nose and through my body and I can't take it. I start whining.
Me: "That smells so good! I can't stand diets when you do the cooking!"
My son: "Well, you can't have any. You have to count your points."
He's only 3! He shouldn't know this stuff by heart. Or maybe it is I that is talking about it too much. Doh!
The other morning I asked my husband to wake my daughter up and so he went in and started singing to her and she said "Daddy, stop with the singing of that song! I'm trying to sleep here!" And then she pulled the pillow over her head. I had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard.
We went out to a friends birthday dinner Sunday evening. While we're driving, my son spots an overpass and decides he wants to "go that way, go under the bridge." I say we can't because I have to drive the other way. He says "I want to drive the car Mommy!"
My son told me he needed some medicine because he "bless you'd" at school today.
Our cat Critter passed away a few weeks ago, so when my five year old daughter came home she asked 'where's Critter mommy?' I had let her know that he had passed on, so she kinda looked around the house and I watched her. Then she turned and looked at me and said 'mommy? did you give Critter to heaven?', I just thought it was cute.
"All my towels are pink. Your towels are all different colours. When you get a towel for me, you can choose any colour as long as it's pink!"
My 5-year old boy wanted to try mouthwash. So, I put a little bit in a paper cup for him and told him to just swish it around in his mouth and then spit it out. I warned, "but don't swallow it or you'll throw up...".
So, sure enough - he swallowed it. Leave it to kids.
He didn't say anything for about 5 seconds, but he had this really worried look on his face. Then he said in a very worried little voice, "Am I going to throw up now?"
My son calls hangers "hookers". He's always very vocal about how many "hookers" are in the store when we are shopping.
My son was in the tub last night and said "mommy I tooted bubbles"!!!!