Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet.

 
Showing 201 to 220 of 912
When talking about what colours we can make... What would happen if I mixed the red paint with the blue paint?
"You'll get into trouble"
A fellow at work told me his granddaughter took him a cake for his birthday and when he said OH NO look at all the calories, she went and asked her mom if she had added calories, and she returned back to her grandpa and said Don't worry poppa, the recipe didn't call for any calories
My nephew is 7 years old and he just cracks me up with the terminology this kid has. I was in the car with him and he was playing his DS in the car. There was a little silver suitcase next to him on the seat and I asked him if that was the case for his games and he says, "Not necessarily"
Then later on, he was telling me about this camera that his dad got him and how he likes to take pictures of "inanimate objects" and that he took a picture of the toilet after he peed in it.
There is a lady that apparently I look like. People think that I am her all the time. I don't see it. I don't think so. I asked my daughter once if I looked like this other lady. My daughter said, "Oh no...she's much prettier."
thanks. glad I asked...
My Mum always tells the story of my brother, when very young he saw the picture of a stag and he said 'look mummy it's a cow with trees on!'
The other night I was at my computer and he was watching some show on tv. I have a headset so that when I am listening to music I don't disturbed my husband or son when they are watching tv. My son came over to me and said "Mom, who sings that song?" I looked at him and said "what" and he repeated the question. I guess I had been singing along and didn't realize it. So I said "Britney Spears" well without missing a beat and with a totally serious look he says and I quote "You should leave it that way"
One day I was babysiting my grandniece she was four at the time. She saw my old LPs(records) and she picked one up and said "look at the big CD!". I guess she had never seen a LP before.
I had to go pick up a book today for my business stuff, and as we were leaving, my daughter asked, "What book did you get?" So I told her it was a book for big people, for my job, and she asked, "It's not for short people?"
My nan always told me about the time me and my best friend were playing and I said where do babbies come from and she said I dont no but I think you need rubber gloves
Tuesday night we flew home from our vacation to California. The flight was horrid, turbulence the entire way into Denver thanks to a snow storm.
My son, sitting nice and comfy in his carseat said "Mommy! It's a rollercoaster!"
A couple weeks ago, I allowed my daughter to put temporary red streaks in her hair (winter break). She was quizzing me about temporary hair dye, permanant hair dye, how it works, etc. I explain to her at some point that it's a bad idea to start dying your hair permanantly, because then you have to continue to do it the rest of your life, or else your hair will be half one color, and half another. She said, "Like yours?" with a smirk on her face.
"Mum, I know what dairy milk chocolate means. It means there's milk in it!"
"Yes, and dark chocolate doesn't have milk in it."
"Thats because it's made out of poo!"
So every night at bedtime, I always give my son a 10 minute heads up to let him know it's time to start winding down and cleaning up.
Last night was no different. Except, when he it came time for the 10 minutes to be up, he started whining and fussing. I told him, "I gave you your warning, now it's time for bedtime."
He looks at me and says "Mommy, can I give my warning back?"
From a 12 year-old, who soon understood the hilarity of what she was saying regarding her violin (in class!):
"I broke my g-string, and I'm getting another one, and Ms. Kelley is going to put it on so, 'til that happens, I can only finger it."
My son put his head on my chest last night and promptly announced he could hear my heart beeping.
My girlfriend once took her seven year old son to the market after school. Unbeknownst to her, they had a little biology lesson that day. The little boy sees a girl about his age in the market place, and says, "You have a lovely vulva!"
My son was dawdling getting dressed this morning. He kept telling me he "had to drive his cars to the garage!" (playing hotwheels). After about 10 minutes he finally had all his cars where he wanted them, and came over to me to get dressed. He looked me in the face and said...
"THERE! Was that so difficult?!?"
My mother has an house daycare. One day I was in the yard playing with the little kids. The wind was blowing hard. There are a lot of tall pine trees in my parents yard. A little boy looked up at the tall trees that were swaying in the wind, and said "the trees are making wind". I thought that was funny, yet somewhat...poetic.
Ever since Christmas when my daughter sang a song opera style and made everyone laugh, she does it quite freqently. Earlier this week, she was singing a song opera style, and it had been going on for quite some time. I politely asked her to please stop singing because it was starting to give me a headache. "But MOM! I'm singing OPRAH!" she said.
We were driving to daycare yesterday when my son started whining in the back seat
"Mommy, I have a headache"
You do? Where does it hurt?
"In my tummy"