Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet.

 
Showing 1 to 20 of 912
I don't like the look of Josiah's mum's face.
When asked to sit with her legs closed she claimed "my legs weren't made to be closed."
My 3-year old godson was running around my house causing havoc and I told him that he was "full of beans". He stopped and corrected me with, "No, I'm not full of beans. I'm full of bones."
"Mummy mummy, BIG pencil! But I can't draw with it.."
when she saw the silver minaret on Gallipoli Mosque
I commented to my daughter I was getting fat. She put her arms around me, said "No mum, you're only *this* big. You're not fat like Josie's Pop and Josie's Nan and Josie's Mum and Josie's Dad. Even the boys in Josie's family are pregnant!"
I just couldn't stop laughing. She was right, they are all fat ...
Kid 1 - "So we had to submit designs for a tshirt...everyone had to, and my design won!"
Kid 2 - "Yeah, well i won a colouring in competition in grade one!"
Girl 1: ... She's not Asian, she's Filipino!
Girl 2: It's the same thing.
Girl 1: Yeah, but she's not like Asian Asian.
Girl 2: What, just cos it's not on the same continent.
Girl 1: But they all have to have 'ese', you know, like Chinese, Japanese...
One of the girls hit Bailey.
Bailey: (To Jill) She hitted me!
Jill: Well tell her not to.
Bailey: (Points in girl's face) NOT TO!
Little girl: I like sex!! I like sex! I like sex!
The little girl's older sister (who is 6 years old): You don't even know what sex is!
Little girl: Yes I do!
Older sister: No you don't!
Little sister: Yes I do! It's prawn dumplings!
Older sister: No it's not.
Little sister: Sex is prawn dumplings!!
Older sister: No it's not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this........
Girl: We used to have chickens, but my mum traded them for lemons.
Boy: She traded them?
Girl: Yeah with the neighbor! *pouty, angry look*
Little girl sitting in a Chinese restaurant with her mum:
"I'm not eating this Mum! It smells like a 'gina!!"
Little girl riding her dad's shoulders: "Daddy, can I have a credit card when I'm four?"
Mum, why are you typing in stars?
Kid 1: "I hate Robotz, one day I'm gonna kill all Robotz."
Brother: "If you hate Robotz, howcome you have Robotz books?"
Kid 1: "So that I can learn about Robotz, so I can know how to kill them."
"Lets play poker"
"How do you do that?"
"You poke people"
"Yeah!"
Four-year-old holding up a toy: Mommy, can I get this?
Mom: It says it's for kids ages eight and up. How old are you?
Four-year-old: Um... eight.
Child: "Look, we've all got the same fork!"
Mum: "No we don't, we've all got different forks"
Child: "No, thats not what I meant, I meant Ryan and me have a knife and fork and mum's just got a fork"
Mum: "Thats not what you said"
Child "Yes it is!"
Child: "We're learning Absolutely Everybody at school and I know the whole song!"
Mum: "That's great! Why don't you sing it for me?"
Child: "I can't, I don't know any of the words."
"Mum! You have big ugly lumps of fat with nipples on them!"
Fine, I'll be sure to never let my child see me without a shirt on again.
Me and Chloe are going to share a house when we are adults. There will be a bunk bed with a single bed at the top and a double bed at the bottom, in case one of us gets a boyfriend.