Funny things kids say

"There are no split bones in your head, not like your arm", she said, referring to how your arms bend at the elbow and your head doesn't.

This is actually something my friend's daughter did. One day we stopped at a variety store and my friend had to quickly run in the bank beside it so she sent her daughter into the store with my money while I watched her from the car. My friend returned to the car and her daughter came out of the variety store with the loaf of bread and some candy. She asked her if she asked me if she could spend my money on the candy and her daughter replied "no". My friend initially accepted this answer but then asked her where she got the money then. Her answer: "the lady in the store gave it to me" (my change from buying the bread) We both laughed hysterically!!!

My 4 1/2 yr old son asked us out of the blue this weekend: "Is God invisible?" To which I naturally answered "Yes". The straightback question was: "Then how does he carry things?"

My 5-year-old told me she's gonna have two babies, (they're in "eggs" in her tummy right now), and they're one girl and one boy. I asked her what their names are going to be and she goes "Annie and Daddy Warbucks." You can tell what we watch 50 times a day!

So we were at the fancy restaurant tonight with my mother-in-law. My son and I come back from the bathroom. My daughter says "what took you so long?". He says as loud and proud as ever "I was pooping!"

My friend's son is afraid of thunderstorms. My friend told her son however, that God was just bowling and that's why the "booms" are so loud. Another loud clap of thunder errupted and with wide eyes, her son said: "Gee, he's good!"

My daughter was about two yrs old and had just gotten out of the bath. I carried her out to the livingroom in a big towel and sat her on the couch. While I was back in the bathroom to clean up, she had unwrapped and was cruising around in the buff. When I came back to the front room she had her hand on her bum with a horrified look on her face. I asked her "What's the matter baby?" and she replies, "Mommy! There's a hole in my bum and I just put my pinger in it!!"

Just a few days after I found out that I'm pregnant, I made plans to go to lunch with a friend and her three year-old daughter. When they came to pick me, my friend's daughter turned to her and said, "Sarah has two puppies and a baby?" There's no way she could have known that I'm pregnant.

When one of my daughters was being potty trained I put some perfume on her then right after that she needed to sit on the potty. She was sitting there with the door open when my husband came walking by. She called "Daddy, come smell me."

Getting my daughter out of the bath she looks down at her shrivelled up little fingers and says, "Wook, my fingers are scared!"

My kids were playing a game whilst on a long journey and they had to all think of things that have a hole in. One answered 'willies'!! They decided to play a different game after that!

I had stories in my eyes last night!

When my daughter had been in the bath too long, she would say that she had "winky fingers!". So cute.

So I'm in the bathroom with my 4 year old. Trying to brush his teeth. He is on the floor rattling off a story to me. I'm multi-tasking, you know, picking up a bit, wiping the counter down, bending over to put something under the sink.
I stand up and start to reach around to pull the shorts which seem to have found their way up my butt at some point during my multi-tasking efforts out and mid-sentence he reaches up, grabs my shorts, tugs them out of my buttcrack and continues on with his saga.
Me: What did you just do?
Him: I was pulling your shorts (giggles start) our of your BUM!

My daughter, at age 3, after watching her brother throw up, asked me, "Mommy - what he do?" I said, "He threw up." She said, "Did you tell him he could do that?"

When my brother and I were growing up our step-father worked in a paper plant that had three shifts; morning, swings and graveyard. My brother thought that when he would have to work a swing-shift this meant that he was playing on some swings and when he worked graveyard he was actually working in a graveyard.

"But then I thought about it, and decided that I'm not ready for that yet! I'm only seven! So I gave the ring to my teacher and told him what happened and that I'm not ready to be married."
-- My daughter, telling me a story about a boy who gave her a "marriage ring" at school!

My 7 year old said something which made me smile one day. I always get her a bottle of water on way to school, on way back home after school she was complaining
how her water tasted all watery.

Me and my mum and sister took my nephew, then aged 3 to the childrens' church service on Christmas Eve last year. Right in the middle of a prayer he wailed at the top of his voice "I need a pooooo!"

My son called the mechanic a "car plumber" one day. I guess because he was underneath the car like a plumber.