Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet.

 
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My daughter was telling me that some cars have fuzzy seats. I told her "they're just car seat covers, you can buy them". "How much do they cost?" she asked. "About $50 to $100" I said. She looked shocked, and said "that's too expensive! I'm just going to buy a house and a car instead".
I was making a salad and my daughter took some lettuce to eat. She told me "It's nicer with that runny stuff you sprinkle on it". Yes, that's the salad dressing ...
A:OMG you're blind!
P:I know, I wear glasses
ME: Do you think we should get you a hair cut?
HER: No Mummy, I want long beautiful hair ... like a mermaid ... like a beautiful princess ... just like Daddy
One of my kids pronounced everything off just a little bit...
He wanted to check out books from the strawberry.
He asked for more hostages (instead of sausages) for dinner.
His favorite character in Batman was Toothpaste. (Two Face)
My son was about 4, it was right after Halloween and he was in a very giving mood. He said, "I'm going to share all my candy with everyone in the whole world except the devil, the bad guys, and the Dallas Cowboys."
We had a police officer visit our school and have a conversation with the children regarding safety, etc. When he left, a 3 year old girl said to me “He didn’t even try and shoot us!” I never even thought the children would worry about that!
"Boobies are big lumps of skin with brown bits at the end. Why do girls get them and not boys?"
This 4 year old boy told me “My dog Lupa died and we put her in the garbage.”
I said “You mean you buried her?” He said “Oh yeah. We buried her and then we had a wedding.”
Preschoolers often have difficulty with present and past tense. It’s so funny! I had a student say to me once “I saw a tiger yesterday a long time ago.”
I was with my 5 year old niece and my mom. We were sitting at the kitchen table going through the mail. My niece found a sample packet of anti-wrinkle cream. She asked my mom “Grandma what is this?” She said “It's a cream that makes your wrinkles go away.” She yelled “What are you waiting for grandma! Put it on!”
I showed my 4 year old a picture of me when I was 9 months pregnant and I said "look you were in mommy's tummy in this picture." He looked at it for a minute and very seriously asked "Did you eat me"?
He was sitting on the potty and I said "did you go poop?" and he said... "NO mom, poop went away... its gone... it went away -- it went to walmart"!!!!
We were at dinner a few nights ago and my sister told my boyfriends little girl who is 2 yrs old to put her carrot in her tummy so she pulled up her shirt and tried to put it in there and said it won't go in. It was so funny.
The other night my 3-year-old daughter was in the bath and she yelled at me when she was ready to get out, and after I got her out, she says "Sometimes I feel like I'm dyin', but then you always save me."
My name is Nikki. My little sister thought that I had the same name as Mickey Mouse, and she would call me Mickey. When my family finally convinced her that my name was not Mickey, she called Mickey Mouse 'Nikki Nouse'. It took several years for her to stop that.
A little girl came up to my sister when she just got braces and asked, "Are those necklaces for your teeth?" She wanted to try them on...
When I was really little, I was sitting with my grandma and suddenly burst out with, "Grandma! You have breaks in your face!"
While walking down that isle in the supermarket, she said "My mum uses them, she puts them in her knickers"
This morning my 3yr old son and I ran into the store.
He said,"Mom, it sure is windy out."
I said, "Why , yes it is."
He said," I sure am going to miss you when the wind blows me away."