Funny things kids say

"Hey mommy ... look my pee pee "growed" ..and it's really big!

Son: "Why do I have to go to preschool?"
Me: "So you can become a productive member of society."
Son: "I don't want that to happen to me."

My son is really into animals right now. Ducks make a quack quack noise. Cats meow. A pig makes a snorty noise. And everything else goes Mooooo!
My husband and I were walking on the boardwalk with our son in his stroller. There was a couple sitting on one of the benches on the side of the boardwalk, with a very very large dog. Lucas took one look at the dog, pointed at it and said "Mama! Mooooooooo!"

I walked into the living room where the kids were watching Pingu just in time to hear my son say, "Pingu will not listen to his inner voice! He ignores his inner voice!" All of a sudden the philosophical implications of Pingu are a lot more intriguing to me than they previously were.

I gave my son a snack this afternoon in a little snack cup with a lion on it. Here's the conversation that followed:
Him: There's a lion on that cup!
Me: That's right! What letter does lion start with?
Him: *thinking really hard*
Me: L-L-Lion...
Him: I don't know, Mama.
Me: L. Lion starts with an L.
Him: L...L...Hey, I know! That rhymes with what the hell!!!
Me: *looking down trying not to laugh but not succeeding* Yup, it sure does, buddy. You are absolutely right. Good rhyming!

My husband, trying to convince my daughter that she could handle some alone time watching TV so that Mommy and Daddy could have some "alone time" of their own: Why don't you watch a TV show! What TV show would you like to watch?
Daughter, thinking: Hmmm. What will you and mommy be doing?

During a power struggle about dinner:
Me: You need to eat that food so you can get to be big and strong.
Him: I don't wanna! I want to stay little forever!
*sigh*

Tonight, my 12 year old cousin: "I'm never moving out or getting a job."
Me: "What if you get married."
Him: *Thinking hard* "She can move in here."
He completely serious about it too, it was great.

Daughter: 'Mummy, can I go to your wedding?'
Me: 'No sweetheart, I'm already married and I don't plan to get married again.'
Daughter: 'Oh. Is Daddy married?'
Me: 'Yes, Daddy is married to me'
Daughter: 'Oh. And I'm married too.'
Me: 'No, you're not married. When you're much bigger you can get married if you want.'
Daughter: 'Good. I don't want to get married.'

Daughter: 'Can I have a baby in my tummy?'
Me: 'No, you're only a little girl. Little girls can't have babies in their tummies.'
Daughter: 'Oh when I'm bigger can I have a baby in my tummy?'
Me: 'Yes, when you're bigger'
Daughter: 'Maybe when I'm ten I can have a baby in my tummy.'
Me: 'No, when you're an adult you can have a baby. When you've been to university and married someone lovely, you can have a baby in your tummy.'
Daughter: 'I'll be bigger tomorrow. Can I have a baby tomorrow?'

My daughter was turning upside down on the sofa and then flipping off it onto the floor. I asked her what she was doing and she replied "I'm circing".
Me: Circing?
Her: Yes, mummy. Like in a circus.
Of course.

The reason why my son say putter-pullers is because he uses them to push his swing!

I'm sitting on the edge of (quite deep) sofa with one twin, reading her a story. The other twin jumped up on the sofa, crawled along behind us, lay down and yelled "HELP! HELP!" I turned my head and said "What's wrong?" and he gave me a huge cheesy grin and said "I okay!" and crawled off the sofa. I lost it completely.

When we went to go see a movie, a family with a little boy of about 4 sat further to the left of us. Before the movie there was a little short cartoon. After the short the little boy said "why are we still sitting here? We already saw the movie!"

Let me preface this by saying that I'm a childless 18 year old.
There's a movie viewing for everyone in my apartment complex tonight in the courtyard, so I went out by myself to watch it. A little boy around 5 or so was passing around snacks to everyone and after handing me a brownie went "Do you have any daughters or anything who would like some?" It cracked me up.

When I commented on how tall some flowers were growing, my daughter asked, "Are they perky? Are they full of perks?"

We went to a little Independence day celebration thing this morning and there were some firefighters there giving the kids a tour of their firetruck. This little boy jumped up in the seat and had the following conversation with a fireman:
boy: I sure wish I could be a firefighter and drive this truck!
ff: Well maybe you can someday when you get a little older.
boy: My birthday is in August! Then I will be older.
The fireman asked him how old he was and told him he'll have to have 13 more birthdays before he can drive the firetruck. The kid looked crushed.

As I was taking the kids over to my parents' house to drop them off for the day, my two boys were arguing about who has more blood.

Son: "What did you make for dinner, Momma?"
Me: "Burritos. Well, burrito bowls. It has rice, beans, corn, some spices, cheese, and sour cream."
Son: "No! I don't like it!"
Me: "Yes, you do. You've had it before, and you like it just fine. Sit down."
Son: *starts to get weepy-sniffly voice* "I can't eat it! I don't like sour! I only like sweet!"
Me: *tries very hard not to snicker* "It doesn't really taste sour. That's just what it's called."
In the end, I ended up having him come into the kitchen with me, take a taste of the sour cream by itself, and then he was fine with it and ate the burrito without a problem.

My youngest, who turned two about 3mos ago, still occasionally needs help getting her pants down in the restroom, so I frequently just go with her when she needs to go. Yesterday as I turned on the light in the room, it was obvious that one of my older boys had not only not lifted the seat, he'd not aimed well either, and there was quite a bit of pee all over the seat. Before I could holler at the boys to come clean it up, the 2-year-old heaved a big sigh and said, "Oh dang. They did it AGAIN."