Funny things kids say

We've been talking about how he doesn't have to read everything out loud - sometimes, you can just read them in your head, to yourself. He picks up a book today and starts reading it aloud. I said, "remember how you can read things in your head?" He looks at me, says, "Oh, yeah," and then puts his forehead in the book.

My son just walked up to me and announced, "Mom, I think it's a good day for mud wrestling!"
Huh?

My son was running away from his Nana last night and Nana informed him if he didn't get back here she was going to spank his bum. He then spun around, put his hands on his hips and informed her "Oh I don't think so Nana. That's MY BUM!"

"I'm growing tall because I get the hiccups a lot"

Overheard between two little girls
Girl 1: "Wow, you know so much"
Girl 2: "No, I only know half of the things in the world".

My younger son, who just turned 4 last week, was playing with his cabbage patch doll the other day, pretending that it was a baby sister. He was being very sweet to the doll, and tells me that he wishes he had a real baby sister, but then adds: "one that doesn't eat, so she won't grow bigger".

My daughter was throwing a gigantic fit today because I made her come in from playing outside. I was talking with her and trying to get her to calm down, and I kissed her on the cheek. She immediately stopped crying and yelled, "Mama! No kiss me. I very mad right now!"
Then she scowled at me for a minute more and then smiled and said, "Okay, happy again." and went about her day.

I was folding towels yesterday, and Shane asked, "Do you have to do that?"
I replied, "Yes, they aren't going to fold themselves."
"Why don't you get a machine to do it," he said.
"That's a great idea! Can you make me one?"
"Like 3PO? Does that sound good?"
"Perfect."

My son, shying back from a bee: There's a bee here, Daddy. I didn't want it to get upset, so I am giving it some time alone.

Tonight we were out for a walk and my son saw one of those airplane trails in the sky. He pointed and said, "See the sky? It has a rip in it!"

(To the tune of It’s a Small World)
It’s the holy un-derwear
It’s the holy un-derwear
It’s the holy un-derwear
But only if the Christ Jesus wears it!

I asked my daughter if she knew where hamburgers came from. "Meat?" "Well, close, hamburgers come from cows." "Oh. So, when we eat hamburgers we are eating cow?" I cringed. Am I turning her vegan? "Yes, that’s right." "Oh! So hamburgers have milk in them."

"Mommy, what is that thing with lines?"
"I don’t know. We’ll ask daddy." I said.
She replied, "yeah he’s smarter."

This morning I put my son in the car then ran back inside to get something. He saw all the leaves that had blown into a pile overnight in our driveway. I heard him call out in an excited voice, "I found autumn!"

Our middle son, who will turn four on Halloween, is quickly resurfacing from the depths of the terrible twos (and threes). He is silly, mischievous, and sweet-hearted at his very core. Every now and then, I’ll find him sitting on the couch, his bed, or his favorite bar stool: head hung low, mournful look monopolizing his face, sadness emanating from his very pores. Two mornings ago was one such occasion…
"Honey, what’s the matter? Why do you look so sad?" I inquired.
(big sigh) "It’s just that, my heart is broken," he replied.
(scooping him into my arms) "Why is your heart broken?"
(looking up at me with hang-dog eyes) "Because I love real dinosaurs sooo much, and I just miss them. That’s why my heart is broken."

We were driving to dinner with our 5 year old in the back when she announced with great excitement that she had an ear whack. I turned around to find it was ear wax. I corrected her but she insisted that "no it's only one bit so it's an ear whack, if it was two it would be wax". So now she asks me to clean her ears to make sure she doesn't have any ear whacks in them.

K2: Mom, can I live with you when I grow up?
K1: Dad says when you turn 18 you are out of the house. You’ve got to “Get a life!”
K2: But, I want to live with you, Mommy.
Mom: I’d like you to live with me, I suppose I could charge you rent.
K1: How much would that be, Mom?
Mom: Oh, maybe $1200 a month.
K1: Are you crazy? $1200? For $1200 I could get my own condo or something.
Mom: Do you realize the house across the street is renting for $8000.00 a month? Do the math. You might be able to get a nice condo in Montana.
K1: See you in Montana, Mom!

Was giving the littlest one a good morning hug earlier today, squeezing him and telling him over and over that he was, "mine" which is one of his new favorite words, I might add.
I asked him "What are you?" Now, every day, his vocabulary improves so I kind of expected him to say "mine" right back at me, but no! Not that one! He replied ...
"Stuck!"
Great! His mummy gives him a hug and he thinks he’s stuck. It was actually very funny and had me in hysterics! Stuck indeed!

Our youth director was building a cross outside the church today while we were there. My daughter watched him from inside the lobby, and excitedly told me, "Look, mama! He’s building a cross!"
"Yes, honey, he is."
"Is Jesus going to die on it?"
Thank goodness he only had to do that once, right? But what a sweet reminder to be thankful that he already did.

As my oldest boy, almost four, held his new little sister for the first time, he looked up for the briefest of moments, smiled big, and said, "Thanks for buying this for me, dad!"