Funny things kids say

Discussing physical characteristics, hair and eye colour with my three year old.
“What colour are your eyes?”
“Hazel”
“What colour are mummy’s eyes?”
“Blue”, etc through the family.
Then,
“What colour are Grandma’s eyes?”
“Old!”

One day i asked my cheeky 5 year old
“Can mummy have a kiss?”
he replied almost instantly with
“oh alright, but you’re so damn ugly!” in a funny little accent Kissed me and walked off.
I was left standing in the kitchen studying my reflection in a fry pan - thinking when did i suddenly get so damn ugly???
It wasn’t until later that I walked into the lounge room & found him watching Madagascar 2 that I saw one of the penguins say
“I could kiss you monkeyman”
and the monkey replied
“Oh alright, but you’re so damn ugly”
Apparently I’m not so ugly after all! Cute n’ Cuddly boys - cute n’ cuddly! tongue laugh
Movies have a lot to answer for!

My son and I were in our yard and were lucky enough to find a Praying Mantis. Down on the grown, near the Mantis was a small moth heading right toward it. The Mantis snatched the moth and proceed to eat it there before our eyes. My Son, 3 1/2 yrs old responded "Mantis is eating dinner, YUMMY!... But POOOOOR BUG!"

"If I had a million dollars I would buy a house with big robot legs."

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

My 4yo old asked me if I knew something, and I said "Yep I know that one, cause I know everything" Her very prompt and very forward reply to that was "No you don't Mummy, you're not God". I said, "Well God doesn't know everything". She said "He knows more than you"

My 5 year old niece, being totally sincere, says to her other Aunty this: "I know you really want to get married, but it's not that no one wants to marry you, they just don't know where you live."

In our town there is a graveyard where the main street runs right through the center. My two daughters were discussing the situation when my 11 year old said she didn't understand why her grandmother would want to live right behind it. My 9 year old piped up," That's because when she goes, they won't have far to take her."

The 12 year old junior Luddite was home crook from school the other day, and she sent me this text :
"I just watched a show on celery and parsley. Did u know scientist think they mite b able to fix the disability. Thats good".
I rang her, because it confused the stuffing out of me, and she started telling me that celery and parsley is the one where they shake and pull faces.
It wasn’t until about 10 minutes later, after I’d given up in total bewilderment, that I realised ‘celery and parsley’ was actually cerebral palsy.
Then I started to shake and pull faces. Love that kid.

When my oldest son was 2 years old, he found his first box turtle. After playing with the poor thing for what seemed like hours, he began studying it very closely. After seeing him stare at it face to face for a long time, I couldn't resist any more. I finally asked him what he was looking at. He said "Mom, does he have a nightlight in his shell so he can see in there?"

Four years ago. My daughter 2,5 and son 4,5yo. Morning, me and the kids are playing birthday party. We are having lots of singing and blowing fake candles on a fake birthday cake. At the end I pretend cutting the cake and putting on my kids plates imaginary pieces. My son (always jealous that his sister has everything better that him) is saying to my daughter: oh, you have got a bigger piece, let’s swap the plates…
My daughter 2,5 crying that her mummy is going shopping and she has to stay at home with daddy. Returning home I asked my girl: My poor baby, did you cry my mummy, my mummy? And she replied: no, I cried my daddy, my daddy…

While driving down the road, my daughter Ashley, and her cousin Becky were chatting in the back seat. My daughter whined aloud "Mom, Becky hurt my feelings." Becky responded "No I didn't, I am sitting over here!"

Not sure if this is funny or not but it was to me so here goes.
My 3yo wanted nutri-grain for breakfast – which isn’t the easiest word for a 3yo to say. He was saying some word I could not for the life of me work out so I asked him what does it look like it.
He said it was the colour of nanna’s dog with 3 holes in it. I immediately knew what he meant.

Mom and her 4 year old daughter were strolling in the back yard. "Sweetheart," asked mom, "should we plant a vegetable garden or have a flower garden?" Her daughter replied without hesitation, "Mom, lets have a kinder-garden!"

My son seemed unusually excited about an old rerun TV program 'Dinah Shore'. After it started he became agitated but continued to watch the program. Finally he threw his arms up in anger and shouted "MOM! This isn't about dinosaurs!"

Someone I know pointed to her tummy and told my 4yr old daughter that there was a little girl in there. She said "in your shirt" and she said "no, in my tummy" so my daughter lifted the reporters shirt and said, "I can't see it"!!

"you know it comes from those roof windows so we don't waste electricity"

Back in Feb. my eight year old son had been playing with an older girl at our Mended Little Hearts meeting, before we left him and my five year old son went to the bathroom and Mr 8 told him that he should have kissed her while he had the chance.

My daughter covered her ears and said "Momma, can you hear me if I cover my ears"? I said yes, she said, "but why, I can't hear you if I cover my ears".

With my husbands health failing, my granddaughter noticed he had slowed down quite a lot (he was 52). No more work, yard work, etc. On our way to his doctor's visit, she stood next to him in the car and said, "Granpa, you are not an outsider anymore, you're an insider!"