Funny things kids say

My four year old daughter told me that our new kitten had jumped on the table. When I looked over she was holding her on the bench with her. I told her to tell the kitten no and set her on the floor. She said, "but momma, the kitten won't like it if I tell her no, kittens don't like it when people tell them no!"

Alright, this one scares me....we went to McDonalds to eat lunch, when we were leaving there was a convertable parked next to us with 4 teenage girls sitting on it and in it. My 7 year old son leans over to his Daddy and says "Dad you gotta check those girls out, they are sooo hot!"
Wow, isn't he too young for that???

My Birthday is on Mother's Day AGAIN this year...My son, just told me " Mommy I can't figure something out, I don't know which is more special, your birthday or Mommy's Day, I am soooo confused!!" Isn't he adorable??

We had just left church and were heading to lunch when my 4 yr old(at the time) asked "Momma when will Jesus come?" I said "We don't know for sure..it will be a big surprise." He then said "So maybe he is packing?"

"Momma, Which Day is Happy Mother's Day?"

"Can you help me, can you help me? I look like an orphan child." – 4 yo K. while trying to get her fancy dress on.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

"I'm not picking my nose, I'm sharpening my finger!"

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

Define H2O and CO2: H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

DS#1 suddenly howled in a annoying dramatic manner halfway through dinner at Jack's Place. So obviously all heads at the table turned and looked at him to which he lapped up the attention and continued howling. He finally told us that he had bit his tongue and that it was very painful.

Younger DS calmly told him "Just close your eyes and drink water!"

My 8 year old asked me today if dinosaurs went to Heaven. Um… I don’t know, I told her honestly. She said "Well, if they do, I’m going to ask God to shrink them so they won’t step on me."

When our granddaughter was around 4 years old, we were watching TV and a trailer for the original "Jaws" movie came on. It came to the part where the girl is swimming alone at night and the shark grabs her and drags her around while she screams bloody murder.
I froze and looked at the kid, thinking, "Oh no, this is going to scare the daylights out of her." She was intently watching the screen and all of a sudden the girl goes under for the last time and it's dead quiet.
I was holding my breath, wondering if she’d start crying or what she’d say. She looked at me and said in a very nonchalant manner, "Well, that didn’t take long." It didn’t even faze her!

I have no idea what brought it on. She just turned to me after packing up her books and said with the sweetest smile, "Mama, you are now a little fat." And proceeds to stick out her tummy just a little bit to demonstrate what she meant.

A couple of weeks ago when we were shopping, I needed something from one of the higher shelves and couldn't reach it. My daughter was observing my struggles and said, "Boy, Mom. That's so high only God can reach it!"

After telling C a friend of mine died ... "Mommy, maybe you should call that person and see what Heaven's like!!!!"

My daughter pointed at the energy rating on the fridge - the one that gives you 5 stars if its good - and asks me "Mum, does that say 'angry eating'?"

"Mom, where’s the back of your head???"