Funny things kids say

Yesterday, me and my friend took our children on an adventure, which included a stop at McDonald's. We're all sitting, eating, and chatting, except her little boy won't eat. He's having a great time, but would rather talk about eating cookies than eat his meal. His mother asks him several times to eat his meal and then he can have a cookie, and he tells her that his dinner tummy is full but his desert tummy is hungry!

My son called swiss cheese "broken cheese" because of how it has holes.

The baby's been really active lately, I can actually see and feel the kicks now. So yesterday while I was sitting down and she was doing gymnastics in my belly, I had my son come over to feel the kicks. He put his hand on my belly and as soon as she kicked back he pulled his hand away with a completely surprised look on his face and said "MOM! Did you eat the baby?!?"

I was watching CNN tonight, as usual, and they had clips of all the candidates speeches.
When they were all done, Nate looks at me and says, "I'd vote for the Black guy! He said the best things"
I asked what Nate liked about what Obama had to say. Nate says "That we should not all be arguing and that kids should NOT be poor!"

Sylvia's very big on subliminal messaging.
S: Can I have cookie please?
M: Not now, we just finished dinner and dessert.
*I start reading my book for a few minutes. Sylvia sneaks up behind me*
S: Coooooookies........Cookies for Sylvia (right in my ear)
She tries with anything really. I guess she figures she can plant the suggestion in my puny brain without me realizing.

My friend's son exclaimed delightedly: "Peek-a-boo bread!" when the toast popped out of the toaster.

The other day when we were out grocery shopping, my husband lit up a cigarette. A lady walked by and my son yelled at her, "My daddy is killing himself!!" My husband quickly put out the cigarette and embarrassedly hurried back to the car.

Whenever Jack is trying to convince me to let him do something that I don't want him to do (for instance, eat cheese with his toes), he'll say, "When I was a young boy growing up in Kansas, we ALWAYS ate cheese with our toes."

Aisha wanted to know how much the block next door would cost. I said about $10,000. Then she wanted to know how much you pay to the person who buys your house off you. I told her no, when you sell a house *they* pay *you*. Her eyes lit up and she said "Wow! We should sell our house! We might get $1000!"

Her: You know what I heard some people do?
Me: No, what?
Her: They go around and pull ladies boobies off!
Me: And where did you hear that?
Her: Jordan
Me: And does Jordan usually tell the truth?
Her: No
Me: So do you believe him?
Her: No, cos there's noone in the town with missing boobies.

They call them hundreds and thousands because there are squillions of them!

I was picking my daughter up from a party the other night, and since I am breastfeeding I didn't want to linger too long. Turned out they'd started eating late, so after they'd finished eating I'd already been there almost an hour. Finally drag her kicking and screaming to the car and we have this conversation:
Her: "Why didn't you bring the baby?"
Me: "It's a party, it's full of loud noises and strange people"
Her: "You could have left her in the car"
Me: "Erm, no, you can't do that"
Thankfully your average 7yo neither has kids nor drives.

Aisha was telling me that when she is rich and famous, she's changing her name to Aisha Jan, just like Jesus Christ. This confuses me, so I push for details. After much more confusion, I finally realise what she is on about.
A few weeks ago she discovered that Jesus was born on Christmas day. She was very surprised, and we explained that was why Christmas is called Christmas ... Jesus Christ, Christmas, Christ, Christmas, get it? Aisha is born in January. So she wanted the first syllable of January, the same way Jesus got the first syllable of Christmas. Hence, Aisha Jan.

My sister had the flu, and went outside to check on 3 year old Alec (her little'un) pottering in the garden with his grandmother. Alec looks at my sis in shock and goes "Mummy! you're to go inside. You're NOT to come outside, you'll get sick and throw up, and then what will I do with you? GO INSIDE NOW". and he points. and frowns.

Just the other day, my daughter's best friend asked me, "Why are you so fat? Is it because you love ice cream?" My daughter answered for me: "No, she's so fat because she's so old."

The cat was sitting on top of a bench and I patted her as I walked past. The cat reared up to smooch my hand, lost her footing, and almost fell off the bench. My daughter called out "Mum! The cat has lost her cleverness!"

"Her first name was Wee. Her middle name was Bum. Her last name was Poo. So her name was Wee Bum Poo. But everyone called her Sarah"

Two months ago I spent a fortnight in Melbourne with friends, and their 4 year old daughter instantly latched onto me. Just recently while shopping, and with no provocation, she loudly announced to the store.
"I LOVE SHOES I LOVE THE BAKERY I MISS DANA!"

Boys Are Stupid Frow Rocks At Them!

Do blind dogs have people to show them where to go?