Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Dinosaurs are loud

Miss Almost-4 was stomping around the kitchen. I told her to be quiet because the baby was sleeping. Her reply:
"No, I'm being a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are really big and they go stomp stomp stomp really loudly."

Can't park

We were out for a walk the other day and passed a car that was parked at an odd angle.
Miss 4 announced "They are parked really baddily. They can't park."


Long car trip. Three kids in the back seat. Smallest one fell asleep. Medium sized one was being very noisy and we told her to be quiet because her baby brother is asleep.
Miss 4 says very seriously, "He doesn't look like he's asleep. He looks like he's dead."
Miss 11 has clearly never thought about what dead people look like before and pipes up with a very surprised "he's not dead! He's breathing!"
Baby continues to sleep through the conversation.

In The Kitchen

I was making a quantity of Chocolate Pudding.
Whilst eating it was curious......
Grandson says - "Where did all the Milk go".

Boys and girls

A friend's child told me that girls pooped out babies while boys got jobs. Stereotypes are alive and well.


Grandson says to Grandmother.
Why do you have a clock outside.
Grandmother says. To tell the time when I'm outside.

Crackers with bones

Miss 4 has always called chicken drumsticks either "chicken handles" or "chicken bones". We recently bought some chicken flavoured crackers shaped like drumsticks, and she calls them "bone crackers".

Worm bottom

Miss 3 said, "My Daddy has a worm bottom".

Sleeping cat

Miss Almost-4 spotted the cat in some thick plants in the backyard.
"Oh look its the cat! She's playing hide and seek! Oh no, she's not, she's sleeping."
Yup, that's what cats do.


We were in Adelaide the other day and passed a really big cathedral. Miss Almost-4 took one look at it and went "That's HOOOGE! Its not going to fall down. It's stuck."