Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Crackers with bones

Miss 4 has always called chicken drumsticks either "chicken handles" or "chicken bones". We recently bought some chicken flavoured crackers shaped like drumsticks, and she calls them "bone crackers".

Worm bottom

Miss 3 said, "My Daddy has a worm bottom".

Boys and girls

A friend's child told me that girls pooped out babies while boys got jobs. Stereotypes are alive and well.

Sleeping cat

Miss Almost-4 spotted the cat in some thick plants in the backyard.
"Oh look its the cat! She's playing hide and seek! Oh no, she's not, she's sleeping."
Yup, that's what cats do.


We were in Adelaide the other day and passed a really big cathedral. Miss Almost-4 took one look at it and went "That's HOOOGE! Its not going to fall down. It's stuck."

Slimy creature

Today while gardening I found a really enormous grub, almost 3 inches long and half an inch thick, no idea what it was but it was interesting enough to show Miss 3. I let her play with it while I continued gardening.
Later I asked her if she had touched it, was it soft?
She nodded. "Yes, I patted it. It was really good for me. I like slimy creatures".


Miss 10: "who's a growly boy?"
Miss 3: "Wyan!"
Miss 10: "Who's a cute little boy?"
Miss 3: "Feo!"
Miss 10: "Who's an annoying little blonde haired girl?"
Miss 3: "ME!!"


Miss 10 has been writing things in her own "language", which looks very impressive.
Me: "is it just straight letter substitution?"
Her (without pausing): "yes"
Me: "do you know what substitution is?"
Her (long pause): "no ..."
After explaining to her what substitution meant and then taking a few pages of her coded writing away, we cracked it in about 2 hours - made somewhat harder by spelling errors, made-up words, wrong letters and several very similar symbols.
I can now write her notes in her own "language" and leave them for her to find.

Lock it

Miss 3 has been industriously emptying her entire wardrobe every day and then filling it with toys. This has been driving me completely nuts, as it takes quite some time to re-hang clothes back on wardrobes and put peg puzzles back on their boards.
The latest time she did it and I told her off was quite funny.
Me: Stop taking your clothes out of your wardobe!
Her: NO.
Me: *stunned silence*
Her: You need to put a wock (lock) on it. There's a wock on the bathroom door. You need to put a wock on my cupboard.
I think she's right.

Jumping food

I went to the supermarket the other day with Miss 3 and was just talking to myself, "we need milk, bread, and anything else that jumps out".
She pipes up with "I love jumpy food. Its yummy!"