Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

CAT scan

Took my 8 year old kid to a seminar. The speaker mentioned CAT scan. MY son jumped up and yelled "Computer Aided Topography by God!"


My son said to my mother, "if you're grandma, and your mom is great grandma, then her mom must have been fantastic."

A great day

Play fighting with my 4-year-old nephew. I fake death. He puts his foot on my chest and says solemnly, "This is a great day for my people."

Belly dragons

I used to wait tables. Once a mother complained of heartburn, and her son just nodded sagely and said, "It must be the belly dragons."


Miss Almost-4 knows that everything we put on the compost heap is worm food.
Today I overheard her while she was staring into the compost heap.
"Look! A worm jumped out! And another worm! They like our food!"

Dinosaurs are loud

Miss Almost-4 was stomping around the kitchen. I told her to be quiet because the baby was sleeping. Her reply:
"No, I'm being a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are really big and they go stomp stomp stomp really loudly."

Can't park

We were out for a walk the other day and passed a car that was parked at an odd angle.
Miss 4 announced "They are parked really baddily. They can't park."


Long car trip. Three kids in the back seat. Smallest one fell asleep. Medium sized one was being very noisy and we told her to be quiet because her baby brother is asleep.
Miss 4 says very seriously, "He doesn't look like he's asleep. He looks like he's dead."
Miss 11 has clearly never thought about what dead people look like before and pipes up with a very surprised "he's not dead! He's breathing!"
Baby continues to sleep through the conversation.

In The Kitchen

I was making a quantity of Chocolate Pudding.
Whilst eating it was curious......
Grandson says - "Where did all the Milk go".


Grandson says to Grandmother.
Why do you have a clock outside.
Grandmother says. To tell the time when I'm outside.