Q: Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

A: Because he wanted some spare ribs.

(For people in the UK/AU)
Q. Why can't a car play football?
A. Because it only has one boot!

Q: Why did the coach go to the bank?

A: Because he needed a third quarter.

Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'

Q: What did the snowman say to the carrot?

A: Get out of my face