Q: What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the middle?
A: A doughnut!

Once a girl and a boy were eating burgers. The boy said to the girl "I need to tell you something!" The girl said "Don't talk to me while I'm eating, when I finish my burger then you can talk."
So when they'd finished eating the girl asked the boy "now what did you want to say?" The boy said "um, I was going to say that there was a cockroach in your burger!"

Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An Umbrella.

Q: what do you call a dog in your toilet?
A: a poodle!

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

A: So they can hide in a strawberry patch.