Q: How does a skeleton call his friends?

A: On a telebone!

knock, knock
who's there?
yodel lay hee
yodel lay hee who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

Once a girl and a boy were eating burgers. The boy said to the girl "I need to tell you something!" The girl said "Don't talk to me while I'm eating, when I finish my burger then you can talk."
So when they'd finished eating the girl asked the boy "now what did you want to say?" The boy said "um, I was going to say that there was a cockroach in your burger!"

Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'

Q: What did the dog say to the tree?

A: BARK BARK