Funny things kids say

When my daughter was about 3 she had a cold and was using a humidifier at night. Well when I was trying to rinse it out in the sink (it was a large humidifier), my 2 year old son came by and asked me what that was. I didn't think he would understand how and why it worked so I just told him that it was for his sister's runny nose. After a long pause I thought he had just accepted my answer. But then he asked me "how are you going to fit that in her nose?"

I was sitting on the toilet, in an attempt to preserve a modicum of decency and privacy. Anyone with a small child would realise how futile this is.
So we had this discussion:
Me: I'm trying to go the toilet here.
Miss 3: I look at you!
Me: Why do you need to look at me wee?
Miss 3: I not look at you wee. I look at your boobies!
I'm breastfeeding her little brother at the moment, and apparently my boobies are one of the most interesting things in the house.

Small girl to mother, whilst on board an old sailing ship: "Why is it called the poop deck?"

Last night Miss 3 comes in to tell me "the pupuss is sleeping on Aisha's bed".
5 minutes later she comes in and says "the pupuss is sleeping on your bed now". I asked her "did you annoy the cat and make her move?"
Miss 3 replied in a very serious voice "Yes. I throwed a shoe at her."

Miss 10 is developing a nasty case of clogged pores all over her face and I have been nagging her to wash her face daily for weeks. Today she noticed her little sister has spotty nappy rash.
Miss 10: She's got more spots on her bottom than I've got on my face!
Me: Yes, but people look at your face more than your bottom.
Miss 10: Except when you're at a strip club
Me: Well, yes .... wait, how do you know about strip clubs?
Miss 10: Gabe told me.
Every time she comes home with some sex-related tidbit, it's always Gabe, a boy in her class. The most worrying thing is, where is Gabe getting it all from?

My cousins from Europe visited Australia with their 3 year old daughter. I took them to see the emus and kangaroos at a national park. Upon sighting the emus the 3 year old screams out "look how big the chickens are in Australia"

I was minding miss-three-from-next-door. I told her we were changing the sheets and she looked at me sympathetically and said "why, did you wet the bed"!!

Many years ago when I was working retail I was serving a lady who had her young son with her. Her son pipes up and says "Mummy, I really need to go to the toilet" to which his mum replies "can you wait? I'm really busy at the moment." The response from her son "I can hold on mummy, but I don't think my poos can".

Miss 3 was being very silly at the dinner table, spending more time hyping her baby brother up than actually eating.
So I sternly asked her "Are you eating your dinner or are you playing with your brother?"
She replied, very seriously, "I'm playing with my brother."

My daughter was staring at an attractive business woman walking towards us, head swivelling as she passed. My girl whispered to me "Mum, why does that woman have white arms and face and black legs??" Her face was incredulous. Of course, the woman was wearing sheer black stockings!

We are in a 'visiting nurse' program, who comes around once a month. Today she asked how we were, I said we just got over a cold that we got in Adelaide.
Nurse says to Miss 3, "Oooh, did you go to Adelaide?"
Miss 3: "We broomed a long long way away and we can't see our house anymore"

I usually buy good steak if I'm going to buy it, but one time I bought the cheap steak. Well my son was eating and I could see this look on his face, so I asked him what was wrong. He told me "I keep chewing the steak but it won't go away"

As gross as it is, the 8 month old has been eating dead flies off the floor.
Miss 3 announces "Frogs like flies and my baby brother likes flies!"

Miss 3 was eating dinner, and announced "I'm not eating my noodles". But they were disappearing off her plate ...
On closer examination, she was sucking up her noodles *schloop* and swallowing them whole. So "not eating" just meant "not chewing". Her noodles disappeared in record time!

We'd just thrown out a set of yellow and green printed cot sheets with apples, hearts and a few other little pictures on them, because they had a hole in them. We put a set of plain green sheets on the cot, but the green sheets didn't have a pillowcase and we'd kept the pillowcase from the patterned sheet set, they matched the green quite well, so we just mix-and-matched them.
The result? One day, a very tired toddler refused to get into bed because her sheets had no apples on them, and her pillowcase did.

We had left our scaffold set up outside on its highest setting - about 6 feet high. Miss 3 looked like she wanted to climb it.
Me: "You don't want to climb up there"
Miss 3: "Yes, I do want to"
*climbs halfway up*
Miss 3: "It's scary up there"
*climbs back down*
And I didn't even need to do anything!

Miss 10 came home from school and announced "Since when do we live in Antarctica!"
I replied "well, its almost winter now, it's getting cold"
No, turns out she was commenting that we were painting the house white while she was at school and it "looks like an igloo".

Last time Miss 3 went to the toilet she came out telling us stories about jumping string. Ok, we thought she was just telling us stories about playgroup.
Next time *we* use the bathroom, there's the dental floss, wrapped around the toilet paper holder and strung across the room to the sink. Hence, jumping string. Now it all makes sense :)

We are building a new house, and I told Miss 3 that in the new house we will all have a new bedroom.
Miss 3 said, "And my new bedroom will be ... a kitchen!"

We were away over the weekend and forgot Miss 3's chocolate milkshake mix (which is a syrup) and had to give her Milo instead (which is a chocolate powder).
Miss 3 wasn't impressed by the "chocolate salt" we gave her.