Funny things kids say

When my daughter was 3, I was trying to put her down for a nap, and she was claiming she wasn't tired. I told her, "I saw you yawning" and she said, "I wasn't yawning! I was just stretching ou my mouth!"

Child brought home a half-finished sketch last night, copied from a magazine clipping.
A: "mum, do you think there is anything I could have done to improve my jungle picture?"
M: "I thought you'd only half finished it"
A: "yeah, I'm not allowed to keep working on it at home"
M: "so why ask that if you're not even close to finishing?"
I found it quite odd.

"I think your fridge is a really good design. Its better than cutlery. But you need the cutlery to cut up the stuff in the fridge, so you can't have a fridge without cutlery"

Aisha was reading off the label of some water ices. She said "contains preserverations"
As in, rhymes with reverberations.

My little miss, aged 5 at the time I think, was most displeased with me. (I think I had done something terrible like not allowing her to eat a second bikkie).
"Mummy, when I grow up, I'm going to find a boy that you don't like and I'm going to marry him!"

I was dressing our toddler and she demanded the buttons on her shirt be done up. Except she said "turn my buttons on"!

"RAWR !" That means I LOVE YOU in Dinosaur language.

When ever I hear my parents say blah blah blah blah blah then... I just say Sweet Nibilets

I was wearing a top with a big round buckle at the front. My toddler declared it "is wheel". I said "no, its a buckle". So she replied "No, is not puckle, is circle".

My toddler found some steel nuts and washers. She declared that the washers were "wheel screws". They're round and were in a jar of screws, that sounds like a very sensible way to describe them.

Overheard at a restaurant tonight:
Mother: So, what did you learn in school today?
Son: (Excited) We learned to do one takeaway one!
Mother: Really? What is one takeaway one?
Son: (with obvious pride) Zero!
Mother: Are you sure?
Son: (slightly flustered) Uh, yeah ... Zero ...?
Mother: One takeaway one is ten. They're teaching you wrong, aren't they?

This was a Remembrance (Armistice) Day to remember. We were at church and everyone stood quietly for the minute silence. The whole church was completely quiet. I had my toddler son, balanced on my hip as we stood respectfully. Suddenly his little voice shouted out around the church "Mummy you're squashing my willy!"

Tried to explain to the toddler today that I have a baby in my tummy.
Many blank stares later, she tried to look up under my skirt!

Alec at about 4 and a half came out to the verandah, pointed out into the dark (on the property in the middle of nowhere) and looked back at his mother & said "There are dark forces out there mum... dark forces..."

My two year old daughter is Clare who everyone calls Clare Bear. I’ve often said to her over the last two years are you a monkey or a bear and she’d say "Bear! Grrr" with claws and we’d both laugh.
The other day she floored me because when I asked if she was a monkey or a bear she said pointing to herself "Not Bear! Person!"

Dad to kids = Do not go on that bit of grass over there. I’ve just put poison on it and it will kill you.
Goes off to do something else. Son comes up a little while later.
Son = Daaadd, why can poison kill you?
Dad = because it has bad things in it.
Son thinks for awhile.
Son = what bad things does it have in it?
Dad = (getting fustrated) oh, I dunno, arsenic.
Son thinks on this a little while.
Son = Dad, who’s Nick???

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.

My daughter can talk under water. She never stops. She was in the shower the other night singing at the top of her lungs. I was listening in as she was cute.
She was singing: "I wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year."
then she goes "Good tidying to you"
and then stops and says out loud.
Good tidying, wonder what that means. Oh it must be 'cause you tidy your house before people come at Christmas.

My 13 year son (who attends a Catholic boys school) was required to prepare a mock console game to show his understanding of the roles of martyrs.
He came up with a 1st person shooter game with holy water grenades, bible bazookas and napalm Sunday. It was called Call of Deuteronomy IV.
Not sure what kind of mark he will get but it brought a smile to my face.

One morning i went into my daughter's room to wake her up for school and had my fringe plaited over to one side which i never do.
Daughter: Mum, why have you got a plait in your hair?
My answer: Because i have oily hair today and i am trying to disguise it.
Daughter: Mum, Plaits only look good on skinny people!!!