Funny things kids say

After an underwear commercial featuring a new bra, my 4 year old daughter turned and stated with urgency; "Mommy, you need to take me to WalMart and buy me some boobs so I can get me one of those bras."

After discussing the reason we were about to have the following Monday off from school, and after having read the book "What Is Martin Luther King Day" to my kindergarten class, I asked my students if they could recall the reason for the holiday. One of my students very proudly raised is hand, and before I could call on him, shouted, "It's Martha Looking Clean Day!"

We went to the bakery and while I was waiting, my 6 yr old son said to the person that was helping us, do you know those cigarettes you have up there are bad for your health? You should put candies or toys up there to sell Not Cigarettes!!!!!!
I lost it laughing so did the person attending us.

"If you had a baby, you could make a bed in the cupboard and put them to sleep. Make a nice bed in there and then shut the door. Babies cry a lot you know mum. If you shut the door you won't hear them." Of course our response as responsible parents was to tell her that if anyone was going to be locked in the wardrobe where we can't hear them, it would be HER.

While doing a constellation project, the students were each given a handful of star stickers. They were the old-fashioned kind that must be licked to stick. One of the boys complained that his stars kept falling off. My student teacher went over to him and saw that his paper was practically dripping saliva. She explained, "The stars only need a LITTLE BIT of moisture to stick. Just touch it to your tongue quickly."
He said, "I DID! SEVENTEEN TIMES!!"

My oldest son when he was five and I was pregnant with his brother did not believe I had a baby in my belly. He came to the 20 week ultrasound with us. The next day he went to school with the ultrasound picture for show and tell. He told the class, "I know my mom's really got a baby in her belly now because he saw it on TV!"

My 4 year old niece was on the toilet and screamed "Auntie I can't go!" I replied, "why?". She said "It's holding on for dear life!" (funny, it was a #2)

One morning Daddy was making his son, Harry - age 3, a bowl of cereal. Mom, the usual cereal maker, was out that morning. Harry LOVES his cereal crunchy and will settle for nothing less. Daddy poured too much milk in the cereal and naturally, Harry did not enjoy eating his bowl of soggy cereal.
The next morning, same routine. Daddy asked, "Harry, do you want Daddy to make another bowl of cereal like yesterday?" Harry responded, "No thanks Daddy, you don't make it good."

Me: Josh, are you a big brother now?
Josh: yeah, Gabriel isn't in mommy's tummy any more. They pushed so hard mommy went POP. and now Gabriel's here!

Our six year old daughter had been learning about organic vegetables at school and we looked out for some when we went shopping. We couldn't see them, so my daughter went up to a young lady assistant, pointed at a cucumber and asked in her regular (very loud) voice if that was an orgasmic vegetable! Needless to say, I disappeared round the corner of the aisle as fast as I could!

Ever since the kids got into the PlayStation their grandparents got them for Christmas, there’s been a slight change in the way they talk. Whenever anyone needs a break, you’ll hear the immortal words "Pause the game, I’ll be back in a minute."
This doesn’t just apply to computer games, they say it in "real life" too. Outside, playing little games or whatever. They’re not obsessed (really!), but it’s funny how they use such a gaming type phrase in day to day life.

We recently had a big storm and got flooded. Our house runs entirely on rainwater, so while my daughter was having a shower a few days later we had this conversation:
Me: "You know we're washing in water from the storm right now?"
Her: "Really?!?"
Me: "Really really."
Her: "Shrek says really really. And donkey!"
Me: "Yes, but what did I say before that?"
Her: "I didn't hear you"
So much for telling her something interesting about the storm ...

Her, watching over my shoulder on the computer: "Go to eBay!"
Me: "Why? Do you have something you need?"
Her: "No, I just want to go to eBay to buy stuff!"

My daughter Aisha had the first meusli bar from a box. We'd had that particular brand before and she recognised the flavour. But instead of saying it directly, she said "This taste reminds me of the time a little girl called Aisha had a meusli bar that tasted just like this one".

I called Halloween "Wa-een"

As my 5-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that we say a prayer for those who might be hurt. So I pointed to the accident and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

When my son was about 4 years old, he put his right shoe on his left foot and his left shoe on his right foot. I said, "Danny, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down at his feet, somewhat confused and replied, "No I don't. These are my feet!"

One of my first graders told me yesterday morning that I could never trick her. She said, "Even if you say there's an elephant behind me I'll never look because I know we're at school and not the zoo."

When my oldest child was 5 years old, I caught him with his hand in the canister of chocolate chips. He was quite surprised when I walked into the kitchen and asked hem what he thought he was doing. He promptly replied, "I was just going to count them for you."

Today we were going over some math vocabulary words. I asked what does the word product mean. One of my students said "Oh you put them in your hair!!"