Funny things kids say

Here’s a little snippet of a conversation Sweet Pea and I had last night during American Idol:
SP: Asa? That’s his name? A-S-A is not a name.
Me: Well, yes, that’s his name. Pretty much anything someone can think of can be a name.
SP: So Buttface is a name!

Mom: don’t pick your nose while your finger nail polish is still wet.

"Have you seen my gloves? They are pink, and they are kind of shaped like my hand."

Daughter, surprised that the chicken we are eating tastes good: "Now I know why kids aren’t allowed to complain about their dinner. Because every once in a while it’s actually delicious!"

The other night while playing in the tub, J took a toy frying pan, put it on her head and said, "Look mom, I’m a pothead!"

Mom, I want you to turn the sky to sunny.

I brought A a new pair of underwear out yesterday and he took one look at them and said "Death to the undies!".

We are going to Yellowstone this weekend. We told M. "We are going to Yellowstone park!" and she replied "I don't want to go to the yellow park, I want to go to the pink park!"

Just today, my daughter was watching Beauty and the Beast. It was at the end, when the Beast changes into the prince, and she asked me what was happening. I explained that the spell was broken so the Beast became a prince again. She said, in a very know it all tone, "But mom, he can't change into a prince because it's called Beauty and the Beast, NOT Beauty and the Prince. Don't you know that?"
Obviously I am not well versed enough in my princess movies.

My daughter came over me today while I was playing a game on the iPod and told me, "I think those guys will defeat you like you are a fish on a waffle." She used the expression several times, as though it was a common one we all know, and then said, "I would like to eat a fish on a waffle." She also told me that waffling is a fancy word for poffling.

My son has a snotty nose. Just regular allergy stuff. But he keeps coming to me and asking me to wipe his nose because "It has Snort". If he sneezes then I have to wipe it because "My nose has sneeze on it."

I have a school reunion tonight and I was telling my daughter about it.
Her: How long since you went to school?
Me: About 25 years.
Her: Oh you must really miss it.
Me: Not really, no.
Her: Oh, I absolutely love school.

Tonight I was putting some disgusting old cottage cheese down the garbage disposal and told my son "I just lost my appetite."
He started turning in circles, looking at the floor, and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I'll help you find it."

In the supermarket in the feminine products aisle. My husband trying to remember which tampons I wanted. My son said to the woman next to them, "My mom's got blood again, and my dad doesn't know which stuff to get to stop it."

We were going around the block, me walking and my daughter on her tricycle. We passed under a tree that had dropped its seeds all over the sidewalk. She turned to look at me and said in her best mommy voice, "Look at this mess!"

My brother came to visit my sister and me. He was talking to my nephew who is seven about school. His dad said "Yeah, Jack's gotten terrific kid twice this year." My brother said "Oh, great Jack! Are you a terrific kid?" Jack rolled his eyes and said "Um.... nope, not this week."

My son yelled at me today because apparently the lines between our kitchen floor tiles have morphed into laser beams and I was in grave danger because I was stepping on them.

Me: "What animals are you looking for?
Her: "Verociraptors."
Me: "uh...what?"
Her (impatient): "Verociraptors!"
Me: "Okay, let's go find some Velociraptors then..."
Her: "You don't find them, they find you."

"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT A TIMEOUT! THERE'S NO REASON FOR A TIMEOUT!"
Me: "Why are you in timeout?"
Him: *instantly* "For screaming, jumping, not listening, and arguing."
Me: "Sounds like there was a reason then."
Him: "NO I DON'T WANT TIMEOUT THERE'S NO REASON FOR TIMEOUT I DON'T KNOW HOW AND I DON'T WANT A TIMEOUT!"

My daughter, prodding some garlic that had escaped from the garlic roasted chicken on her plate:
"What's this white stuff? Its definitely not garlic. I don't even know what garlic tastes like."