Funny things kids say

This is 2-in-1; I was going to post just one, but neither one was better than the other.
1. I was playing a video game with my friend, and her little sister (Not her real name, but I'll call her Kate) walks in. One of the characters said "reiterate", and I find myself having to explain what it ment.
The next day...
Kate: I'm mad, Anda-nee! (my nickname, according to her)
Me: Why are you mad?
Kate: A boy called me mean names!
Me: What did you do about it? Did you tell anyone?
Kate (suddenly calm): No.
Me: What? Why didn't you?!?
Kate: He said sorry.
Me: Then why are you mad?
Kate: He didn't say he would uniterate his words!
2. I was showing the same game to the same friend's 3yo cousin. I got a little nervous around this one level, because there were sentry guns, and I was afraid he would get scared by all the blood. I'm not all that great at that level, so, needless to say, I died, and I was relieved at the angle at which I died (it was first-person) didn't show much blood. Unfortunately, he bumped the mouse, and the angle changed to a full-screen (well, it FELT like full screen) view of the blood. He pointed at the screen and yelled, "Juice!"
We decided to stick with that.

I teach a 3 & 4 year old choir at my church. I came in one day wearing jeans with holes in the knees. One of the little girls came over, patted my holey knees and said:
"It's okay, Miss Rachael. I fell down in the parking lot today and ripped my hose too."

You need to go and do sex so I can get a baby brother.

Just because no one understands you, doesn’t make you an artist.

Lady in store: Is that your son?
Me: No, this is my grandson.
Lady in store: Your grandson? You look too young to be a grandmother?
Me: Thank you.
Grandson: She’s not young. She’s 38.

When I told my daughter she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive, she told me "Why don't you get some expensive money?"

The other day when I was out with a friend and her child at this swanky restaurant, Jane (the little girl) ordered an apple dessert, which was the most attractive dish of that particular restaurant.
However, when she had a bite of the piece, she yelled loudly much to the embarrassment of the staff, "Mom, why does it look good but tastes like it’s made of rubber?" My friend was equally embarrassed however; the staff did give us a complimentary dish!

When playing with our friends’ new baby boy, "We need to get one just like him."

While witnessing her daddy sitting on the toilet to pee she very frankly said, “No daddy, you need to stand and hold your penis!”

I was at a friend’s place for tea and her child, Mark, wanted her to get up. His mom replied, "I can’t do so now son, as my foot has fallen asleep." Innocent Mark then rushed and played a song and asked her, "Mom, will it wake up now?" Mark sure is a laugh riot of sorts!

While listening to her sister whine for something:
"Mom I have an idea! Why don’t you put a piece of candy in her mouth? It’ll close it all up! She won’t be ABLE to whine!"

The other day we all were having an interesting conversation over lunch and my friend who is an animal activist was speaking animatedly about this issue. As she sat arguing with another group member, her kid quipped in between saying, "Mom, humans should never be allowed to shoot extinct animals!"

M: I want to go upstairs to mommy's office.
A: Your mommy is working.
M: At her job?
A: Yup.
M: Daddy goes out to work at his job.
A: Yes, he does.
M: A...What is your job?

After coming home from my parents house with messy hair:
Mom: What happened to your hair?!
Daughter: *big sigh* Grandma broked it.

This morning my son looked at the ice in his glass of water and then looked up at me and said, "That ice looks like your eyes."
Sure, he may have been talking about the shape of the ice, but I prefer to think that it's because I've finally perfected that icy stare I've been trying to cultivate for these many years.

After a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else, a girl piped up with:
"well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?"

Boy to younger brother one evening: "Tell me when you're asleep, ok?"

Son: Mommy, we’re married, you and me, were married.
Mom: Oh, really? Well what do we do about daddy?
Son: Oh, we just throw him in the trash, he’s no good anymore!

When I was trying to put him to bed and he was stalling, "I am going to hug you and keep on hugging you until morning."

My son asked me why I couldn’t drink milk, I told him it was because I get an upset stomach. He responded, "Oh, that’s right. That’s how you got pregnant."