Smells fishy
Earlier in the day we past a restaurant that smelled like fish. Then when we went to the public washroom … and she said, "It smells like fish in here TOO!"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Love thy nipples
Mom: I love you so much! I love every last bit of you!
Her: Even my nipples?
Overpoop
After being told to go outside and pick up the dog poop, he goes outside, whines and complains. He comes back in and says, "Mom, I think the dog over-pooped."
More breath
When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more."
Perfect hair
I told my boys, aged 9 and 6, that I wanted to stop and get some hair coloring. My 6 year old asked what color I was getting and why. I told him that it was just to cover my gray and left it at that. They were like kids in a candy store, searching for the "perfect" color. We agreed on one, bought it, and left. That weekend, at church, a lady said she really liked the color of my hair. My 9 year old beamed and said, "Thanks, I picked it out!"
Only for skinny people
One morning i went into my daughter’s room to wake her up for school and had my fringe plaited over to one side which i never do.
Daughter: Mum, why have you got a plait in your hair?
My answer: Because i have oily hair today and i am trying to disguise it.
Daughter: Mum, Plaits only look good on skinny people!!!
Difficult.
My four years old cousin asked me to help him with his Transformer the other day because, and I quote, he was having "a significant amount of difficulty".
Where he got that from I have no idea.
Seattle
On our last family vacation, we decided to head to the Washington coast. "Where are we going?" my son asked. "We're going to Seattle," I answered back. My son asked the same question over and over, each time puzzled. We were both losing our temper when finally my son questioned "Dad, Who is Attle and why do we want to go SEE him?!?"
Trouser snakes
My 9 year old daughter had been banned from playing her DS for a week, and as there were only ‘baby shows’ on TV which her sisters were watching, and all of her books were ‘boring Mum’, I asked her what she would be interested in researching if I gave her a project to do. She chose snakes. I dutifully wrote her some questions, and she went away and worked on it for a good hour, during which time I finished up everything I was doing and had taken off to the supermarket to pick up some stuff for dinner. Anyway, as I walked through the door she raced up to me excitedly and presented me with her project, all questions answered in paragraph form and illustrated beautifully. She’s bursting with excitement; “Quick Mummy, mark it for me” (I’m a teacher)
I didn’t get past the first line before I nearly stopped breathing:
Question 1. What is the most venomous snake in the world?
Answer: The most venomous snake in the world is the Trouser Snake. It is found all over the world and lives in trousers.
No sex in THIS house
One day I decided to give my kids some ‘sex’ education (my wife was too chicken) Our daughter was 8 and our son was 6. I was going quite well, but then I mentioned mum and dad had sex sometimes, not to have children, but for enjoyment. My daughter replied ‘What… in this house?’ She stormed off into her bedroom, packed her school case, and wanted to leave home ! I followed her around the block, and talked her into returning home after she cooled off. Our son was more concerned about his sister. ‘Is she coming home dad?’ The next day, everything returned to normal. Overall, I figured it was pretty painless…