Funny things kids say

Old eyes

Discussing physical characteristics, hair and eye colour with my three year old.
“What colour are your eyes?”
“Hazel”
“What colour are mummy’s eyes?”
“Blue”, etc through the family.
Then,
“What colour are Grandma’s eyes?”
“Old!”

So ugly

One day i asked my cheeky 5 year old
“Can mummy have a kiss?”
he replied almost instantly with
“oh alright, but you’re so damn ugly!” in a funny little accent Kissed me and walked off.
I was left standing in the kitchen studying my reflection in a fry pan - thinking when did i suddenly get so damn ugly???
It wasn’t until later that I walked into the lounge room & found him watching Madagascar 2 that I saw one of the penguins say
“I could kiss you monkeyman”
and the monkey replied
“Oh alright, but you’re so damn ugly”
Apparently I’m not so ugly after all! Cute n’ Cuddly boys - cute n’ cuddly! tongue laugh
Movies have a lot to answer for!

Bug dinner

My son and I were in our yard and were lucky enough to find a Praying Mantis. Down on the grown, near the Mantis was a small moth heading right toward it. The Mantis snatched the moth and proceed to eat it there before our eyes. My Son, 3 1/2 yrs old responded "Mantis is eating dinner, YUMMY!... But POOOOOR BUG!"

Robot legs

"If I had a million dollars I would buy a house with big robot legs."

Tippy-heels

I was showing my 3 year old son how to walk on his tip-toes. He was doing pretty good but then began to walk on his heels. "LOOK Mommy!" he said, "I'm walking on my tippy-heels!"

Psycho

I know teaching reception children can be exhausting and somewhat frustrating due to their waning attention span and abundant energy.
However I was surprised to discover that my son's teacher had nicked named a couple of the more active boys the "Psycho Kids". The boys seemed to think this rather amusing.
The teacher luckily overheard their comments to me and through much laughter explained that she had actually called them her "side-kicks" as they had been very helpful the day before.
Now why is it they understood psycho more than side-kick?

Ring bear

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

Seagull from heaven

A father was at the beach with his children when the 4 year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

Oh, Lord

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Love is

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.

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