Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic Disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other "Allison." I didn't know a single Disney character named Allison, so I asked the little girl who she was today. She replied, "Allison Wonderland."
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
My grandmother was a first grade teacher who retired in the 80s. She was born in 1930 and is extremely prim and proper. The were talking about the concept of "pair" one day like this:
pair of eyes!
pair of ears!
pair of feet!
All was well until a little boy jumps up and yells "pair of testicles!"
Rachel (23 months) has a favorite game called "What's this?" The other day she was sitting with me on my bed. (Now the rest of the story is much funnier if you understand that I have very large breasts.) She pointed to one of my breasts and says, "What's this?"
Being in a very silly mood, I replied, "Boob." She thought for a second, pointed to the other breast and repeats, "What's this?"
"Boob," I replied.
Rachel thinks for a minute, smacks both of my breasts and exclaims, "Balloons!"
Grace is playing Barbies with Juliana and keeps cracking herself up. She would make the dolls talk to each other, then just start giggling. I asked, "What's so funny, Froufy?" "I is antagonizing the princesses!" ::giggles ensue::
We were listening to the radio in the car today. I usually have it tuned to the Christian station, becase I'm a big dork. Well, today a song came on and my son asked, "Mom, is that Jesus singing?". Very amusing mental image.
"To love is to love, but to love a lover is beyond love."
My class was studying shapes, so we went outside and did a shape walk. The students decided to make a book of shapes that we found in the environment. At the end, I asked them what they had learned. Two girls piped up, loud and clear, "Shapes are everywhere!" Followed by, "Yeah, you can't get away from them, just like girls. They're everywhere."
My daughter was walking past me and said "bonjour" instead of "goodbye". I told her that bonjour meant "hello". So she went "Oh. Anti-bonjour then!"
My daughter played eye spy with nan. She said I spy something yellow. Nothing yellow in the car. Nan gives up. Girl says your teeth.