Funny things kids say

Miss 4 was in the small pool, and went all the way down to the deep end. She couldn't touch the bottom, so she wailed "the pool is too full!"

I put the baby on the change table, with Miss 4 watching.
Me: "I need to change your bottom!"
Baby: "Bot! Bot! Bot! Bot!"
Miss 4: "The baby has a bottom so he can FART!"

Miss 4 was gazing into Miss 11's eyes, and then announced:
"You've got cracks in your eyes!"
Irises certainly do have interesting patterns in them :)

I was outside about to water the garden, and some of my plants were very wilted and lying flat on the ground.
Miss 4 looked at them and went "Those plants are sleeping! They need to wake up."

My son woke up in the middle of the night crying "I can't sleep ... my bed has lost its neat"
Tucked him back into bed, neatly, and he went back to sleep.

Miss 4 was looking over my shoulder at my screen while I was looking at Wikipedia.
"Mum, why is there a puzzle on that moon?"

My friend teaches kindergarten and she told me about the family portrait that one of her students drew. In her drawing there were two larger, presumably parental figures next to her. One had long hair, and one had short hair, but they both had mustaches. When my friend asked her who the long haired one was, the little girl explained that it was her mommy, and her Mommy has a mustache, but she shaves it every morning.

I'd been umming and aahing for a while what to have for lunch, and I'd been saying to myself "I don't know what I want to have for lunch" while I was doing it.
Miss 4 being far less indecisive came up to me and said "I thinked about what to have for lunch and I knowed."

Miss 4 wanted some of my lunch to try, to see what it tastes like. So I gave her some, and she said
"I tasted it and it tasted like what it tastes like."

Miss 4 came in with her stuffed cat.
Miss 4: "My cat eated a mouse."
Me: "Did it taste nice?"
Miss 4: "No. It was a computer mouse."

My 4 year old cousin and his pregnant mom:
Mom: so what do you think we should do today?
4yo: hmm.. Ice cream, playground, or surgery to get the baby out!!!

After bath one night..."My butt crack is broken. Mommy, you washed away my protective layer of dirt."

I was drying the boy's hair and he was saying "Stop! Stop! Stop!" When I wasn't, he said "What are you, ear-blind?"

4 year old Jordyn said the reason the tree had a skirt was so you couldn't see its panties.

Various family members: "What did you get for Christmas?"
Master 3: "Presents"
Various family members: "What kind of presents?"
Master 3 (with that tone suggesting the person is rather stupid): "CHRISTMAS presents"

Miss 5: I want a pickle
Me: But we're about to have sausages for dinner
Miss 5: But a pickle is like a sausage
Sausage shaped maybe, but a lot greener and tastes very different :)

When someone says something I most commonly say "in a mollusc situation"

"Dad - did you just FART?!!!"
My son said exclaimed this loudly in a Best buy store on a veeeeeeeery busy day when he was about 4 years old!
Many heads turned...many giggles...one embarrassed dad! (he had farted!)

Master 4: It's the moon! It's like an egg!

Last night I asked my 3yr old for the iPad to look at my pancake recipe, she replied "don't you know that my daddy is very clever and doesn't need the computer to make pancakes!" My husband uses a pancake bottle to make them! I was cooking them from scratch!