Funny things kids say

me: you drive me crazy
master 3: I'm not driving you! I'M NOT DRIVING YOU! You are not a car, and you don't have a steering wheel on your tummy. I'm not driving you, you are not a car, you are mummy.
..can't debate his powers of reasoning, can we?

Parent: want to go tee tee?
Child: No!
parent: want to go poo pee?
child: No!
parent: want to go pookah? ( or whatever you word is for flatulence)
The child always erupts in laughter. Worked great for my 3.5 YO. She thought and then laughed at the joke about 10 times in a row until I decided to stop and make her and her sister ( who also laughed heartily ) leave the play palace with me at Burger King. My guess is that she evaluated solids, liquids, and gases, knowing that making gas did not require a trip to the potty.

My six year old sister came up to me and said "What do people taste like?"
I could only say that I didn't know and move on as I was busy with school work.
She thought about it then walked out.
She came back and asked "Do we eat people?"
I just about fell out of my chair laughing.

My 4 yr old nephew was in the bathroom a really long time. When checked on, he had taken the chap stick out of the bathroom drawer and was putting it on the cats butt. When asked he said it looked chapped. When asked if he had done that before he replied all the time. He had been doing this and putting the chap stick back in the bathroom drawer without anyone knowing. Yuk!

me: how could a cow jump over the moon?
you: simple.
me: but it's not biologically or scientifically possible.
you: And why might i ask is that?
me: because a cow just can't jump that far into outer space (or into outer space at all for that matter)
you: well if you were asking me in the beginning then why question my advice?
me :but it's not advice at all.
you : well what ever then ,just don't ask me if you don't want my opinion!

I overheard my little cousin Logan and his father in the bathroom one day. Logan was in the process of being potty trained when he asked, "Daddy, why can't I pee out of my little wee wee?" With a tired sigh, my uncle replied, "That's your belly-button, son." (Logan has an outie, not an innie!)

I used to wait tables. Once a mother complained of heartburn, and her son just nodded sagely and said, "It must be the belly dragons."

Play fighting with my 4-year-old nephew. I fake death. He puts his foot on my chest and says solemnly, "This is a great day for my people."

Little boys have a little dick, and bigger boys have a bigger dick, and adults have a dick with fur on!!!

Scene: My daughter at age three during her first hair cut. She had shoulder length hair. She sat in the chair and asked the hair stylist:
"Could you cut my hair so that it goes down to my butt?"

My son said to my mother, "if you're grandma, and your mom is great grandma, then her mom must have been fantastic."

Took my 8 year old kid to a seminar. The speaker mentioned CAT scan. MY son jumped up and yelled "Computer Aided Topography by God!"

We went to the museum, a little boy was introducing himself to each person in the lobby then announcing "I have a penis!"

I work at a camp for kids who are going into kindergarten. One girl tapped me on the arm and said, "Excuse me, you have beautiful elbows."

I'm a preschool teacher, and a kid came up to me one day and told me, "I'm going to Uganda and I'm never coming back ever!" Then walked away

I asked a four year old at work what his favorite color was and he replied "excuse me, I already have a girlfriend" and walked away!

I was teaching different kinds of transportation to my class of Taiwanese preschoolers when one boy piped up, "My mommy drives a BMW."

Another boy's eyes grew wide. "Wow! My mommy does too!" he said incredulously.

They were twin brothers.

Walking our dog, a stray came up to sniff. My 4yo reached down to pet it & my husband said "Don't touch that dog! He doesn't know you!" She looks at the dog & says "Well my name is Anna" & tries to pet him, again.

During a more than typically busy day, my wife and I were otherwise engaged as our youngest daughter kept asking for random things. Each time, either she or I would answer with, "Give me a sec." or "One sec." Eventually, she asked for something and followed it up with, "and no more sex!!!" "WHAT?" we asked, in amazement. She calmly explained that we kept saying "one sec" and she didn't want anymore "secs".

My brother - 5 yrs old - and my sister - 6 yrs old - were sitting in the back seat of the car sniping at one another as siblings often do. Finally, out of frustration, my brother says, "When I get big, I'm going to be a policeman and arrest you!" Without missing a beat my sister says, "Yeah? Well when I get big, I'm going to be a lawyer and sue you for wrongful imprisonment!" 20 years later, my sister IS a lawyer.