Funny things kids say

Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

Small children are quite disgusting.
My daughter was telling me that the bread roll she had at a friend's house with soup last week was shaped like a bottom. So it pooed in her mouth while she ate it and weed in her soup while she dipped it, and she told me this with a delighted grin on her face.
Again, small children are *quite* disgusting.

T: Mommy, those trees are getting wet!
E: Yes, they like to be wet. That's how they drink water.
T: Yes, trees drink the rain and grass drinks the rain and cars drink the rain.
E: Cars drink gas. We have to buy it and put it in the cars so they can drink it.
T: Well, cars like to swim like trees and grass!

J: "Mommy, the noodles taste Yellow!"
M: Really Jacob?
J: Yes. And the Corn tastes Yellow too.
Sissy: Well what does the fish sticks taste like?
J: They taste Brown.

My daughter was eating chicken the other day and commented that "chickens are really cute when they are alive and really tasty when they are dead"

Dad: Do you want the long answer or the short answer?
Kid: I want the yes answer!

My husband hates snakes. Hates them. One day he was watching Monster Quest about giant anacondas. Elly saw this when she walked in the room and said, "Dad, if you're afraid of snakes, why are you watching this?" it was just so funny the way she said it.

My husband was driving the car, and were pulling out of a parking spot on a hill. He backed up, waited for a car to pass, then hit the gas. He was still in reverse, so we slipped back a bit and said "whoops!".
Our newly four year old pipes up in a REALLY teenagey voice, "Dad, do you KNOW how to drive this thing or what?"

We were leaving the dentist's office and I was trying to get the kids into the car.
"Okay, bub," I said to Samuel (4 years). "Let's get into your carseat."
"I'm not Bob," he replied, serious as could be. "I'm Dude!"

*Nic knocks on bathroom door*
Mom: Who is it?
Nic: It's Nic!
Mom: You can't come in right now.
Nic: But I'm your SON!

I was babysitting for my 2 1/2 year old nephew the other night. He accidently droped a full unopened soda can onto his toe, commence SOBBING.
After a moment or two of cuddling and consoling him he leads me to the freezer:
Him: Uh! *Points at it*
Me: What do you want?
Him: Ice...*trails off mumbling*
Me: Do you want an ice-pack?
Him: Ice...cweam?

DJ stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

We were in the church nursery, and I was trying to distract Adam, who had been grumpy, so I was blowing at his face, which he usually likes. He said, "Stop blowing, Mommy." I did it again, and he shook his finger at me and said, "Mommy, you are disobeying!"

My neice Charlotte met me at the door seeming very excited.
Charlotte: Daphne! Daphne! Daphne! [jumping up and down]
Me: What Char?
Charlotte: Daphne! Daphne! Daphne! I..I..I...[clearly trying to get something out]
Me: Charlotteeee, come on, spit it out.
Charlotte: [jumping up and down with crazy excitement] I..I..I..I LOVE YOU!

Annika is becoming a bit of an actress, and combined with her verbal precociousness, this generally makes for some hilarious comments. Yesterday we came home from a walk and she was taking off her shoes in the front hallway. Suddenly I heard her from behind me in a very serious tone, "Oh, Mama. (whispers) Oh my god. My TOE, Mama. What should we do?"
Her toe was dirty.

I regularly babysit a little girl in my neighbourhood. She just turned five. Last time I was over, we were playing lots of roll-around-on-the-floor-being-goofy games and giggling like crazy when all of the sudden she gets up, walks to the corner of the room and grabs two foam swords, walks back and hands me a sword, looks at me with dead seriousness and says, "I'm going to teach you to fight like the Chinese."

Elena: Mami can I have a brownie?
Me: Not right now. You had one after lunch.
Pause
Elena: Mami I'm going into the kitchen now. You stay on the couch. Don't look at me. Ok?
Me: Ok. Pause. Are you eating the brownies?
Elena: No. Guillermo, do you want a brownie?
Me:
Elena: Mami. We're out of brownies. We need to make more.
Me: What happened to them?
Elena: I ate them.

Her: "God lives in the clouds. Do you know why God lives in the clouds?"
Me: "No, why?"
Her: "Because if he comes down to Earth He will MELT!"
That's got to be the weirdest reason I've ever heard for God not living on Earth.

OK, what does a capital 4 look like?"
"Like a regular 4, but bigger."
"How would you type one on a keyboard?"
"You press caps lock, then 4."

My son had broken his leg, was in plaster and had a wheelchair as he was unable to use crutches. He was very demanding and on one particular occasion was demanding chocolate from me. I asked : What is the magic word? to which he immediately replied "NOW!"