Bad baby names

Some people give their children terrible names. Here is a small collection of some of them. If you want to add a bad name you've heard around the place, click here.

Moxie CrimeFighter

Daughter of comedienne Penn Jillette, this little girl will grow up sporting a cape, with her underpants on the outside.

Tu Morrow

Rob Morrow had a sense of humour when naming his son. Tomorrow? Geddit? *groan*. If his surname had been Day, this little boy would have been called Yesta.

Sparrow James Midnight

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden apparently like Captain Jack Sparrow (the lead character in the Pirates of the Carribean movies) and night time. I hope his friends call him James.

Blossom Rainbow

Jamie and Jools Oliver have named their daughters straight out of what appears to be a new line of My Little Ponies, or perhaps characters on a preschooler's TV show. Their daughters are Blossom Rainbow, Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo.

Moon Unit

Frank Zappa has interesting taste in baby names. His children are Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva Muffin. Now remember their surnames are all 'Zappa'. I think we can blame some kind of drugs for these baby names.

Sage Moonblood

Sylvester Stallone probably just thought this name was cute for his son. Or maybe he knows something we don't? That name is so a Vampire name.


Jermaine Jackson's son Jermajesty has quite the name. Somehow managing to combine "her majesty" with his own name, and inflicting the poor child with both his parent's own delusions of royalty.

Impressive in a sad kind of way.

Expensive brand names

If you don't have the money to buy yourself the best consumer goods, you can be sure your child will be blessed with all the class these brand names bestow if you just name your children after the best of the best. Mercedes, Chanel, you know the deal.

Wayne Kerr

A name no doubt given by parents who didn't know what this name sounds like.


Everyone knows this one - of Gwyneth Paltrow fame. The only redeeming feature about the name Apple is the parents didn't name any of their other children after fruit, thus avoiding a fruit salad family. And they spelt it correctly ...