Q: what part of your body is like a music instrument?

A: your nose ,because you can pick it and blow it

Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

A: To get to the second hand shop.

Q: What is the pirates favourite letter?

A: arrrrrrr!

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: What do you with a sick wasp?

A: Bring it to waspital!