Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: Why did the fox cross the road?
A: To get the chicken.
Q: Why did the computer cross the road?
A: Because the chicken programmed it.
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: Where do pencils come from ?

A: Pennsylvania!

Q: What’s the biggest mouse in the world?
A: Hippoptamouse

Knock knock
Who's there?
Ya
Ya who?
Ha ha I made you say yahoo!