Q: What do elves learn at school?

A: The elf-abet

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?

A: a meowntain

Q: Why did the sheep say "moo"?
A: It was learning a new language.

Q: What do you say to a run away stop sign?
A: Stop, sign!

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.