Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: What does a cloud wear under her dress?

A: Thunder pants!

Q: What did 0 say to 8?

A: Nice belt!

Q: What did the berry say to the other berry?

A: I am berry happy

Q: What goes up and never comes down?

A: your age.