Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: What is a room that does not have walls?

A: A mushroom.

Q: What is a cats favorite button on a remote?

A: The paws button.

Q: what day do potatos hate the most?

A: fry-day!

Q: What is fastest, hot or cold?

A: Hot, you can catch a cold.