Q: What do u get when you cross a cow and a goat?

A: A coat!

Q: What is black and white and red all over?

A: A sunburnt dalmation

Once a girl and a boy were eating burgers. The boy said to the girl "I need to tell you something!" The girl said "Don't talk to me while I'm eating, when I finish my burger then you can talk."
So when they'd finished eating the girl asked the boy "now what did you want to say?" The boy said "um, I was going to say that there was a cockroach in your burger!"

Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An Umbrella.

Simon went up to the teacher and asked if could he go to the toilet. The teacher said spell your name backwards and Simon said 'nomis'.