Q: how do you close an envelope under water?
A: with a seal!

Q. What do you do when your nose is on strike?

A. Picket.

One day the elephant was taking a bath. The ant come in his bathroom and said to the elephant to stand up. Then the ant says sit down.
Elephant was angry. "First you say to me stand up, and then you say to me sit down. Make up your mind".
The ant says "I was just checking that you are not wearing my underwear".

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: He was felling crummy!!

Q: What goes "ha, ha, plop"?

A: Someone laughing their head off.

Q: What goes "boo hoo, splat"?

A: Someone crying their eyes out.