Q: How do you make holy water?

A: You boil the hell out of it

Once a girl and a boy were eating burgers. The boy said to the girl "I need to tell you something!" The girl said "Don't talk to me while I'm eating, when I finish my burger then you can talk."
So when they'd finished eating the girl asked the boy "now what did you want to say?" The boy said "um, I was going to say that there was a cockroach in your burger!"

Q: Why was the cow sad?
A: Cos she couldn't go to the moooovies

Q: Why did the computer need glasses?
A: To fix his web sight.

Q: why did the elephants paint his toe nails red?

A: so he could hide in the cherry tree